Actual Conversation

Actual conversation:

Coworker: “Is today “Bring your child to work day”?”

Me: “I bring my child to work every day! :)

Good Listener

I told my baby that when it exits my body, it should take all the fat with it so I can go back to my old clothes, which I miss,...bc I can't afford new clothes...especially since I will have to buy my baby new clothes also.
I also told my baby not to hurt me on the way out.  I’ve been so nice to it.  It should at least do that much for me.
I hope my baby is a good listener.