Second trips are for losers

Apparently, if I sit on the toilet long enough, I can pee all over again, and I can save myself a second trip to the bathroom.  How convenient!

Here I am!

We aren't ready to tell yet.  But my belly is super ready.  On Wednesday, in a meeting with a Rabbi, I sat with my coat on my lap hoping he wouldn't notice.  Later on, I thought "Why did I care so much if he noticed?!"  But we're not ready to tell.  But I feel like Espresso Bean is screaming it from the rafters "HERE I AM!!!"  Now if only I could cash this in for a seat on the subway...hmmm....

Surprise!

My clothes are not fitting me.  My belly is sticking out more often.  I'm only about 10 weeks.  I should not be showing yet.  At this rate, I will have to wear a maternity dress to a family wedding in November, and for sure to my nephew's bar mitzvah in December.  And then my family will know.  And that will be super fun...for no one...  Altho the shocked look on everyone's faces at the wedding and for sure at the bar mitzvah might be priceless.  
Also, I don't really have warm maternity clothes.  I'm so not prepared.  To be fair, it went from hot humid weather to like 50 degrees like overnight, so even normal humans aren't prepared for winter.  
Also, since i'm not supposed to compare this pregnancy to last time, fine.  What if I get super fat and my face gets swallowed up and no one recognizes me, like what happened to someone I know?!  What do I do?!  Aaaack!

Girls just wanna have fun

I really need this baby to be a girl.  I told the dr that and she said that's really out of her control.  (Stupid dr.!)  (just kidding, I really like that dr.).  But like I Really need this baby to be a girl.  First of all, we already have all girly stuff, like clothes and what not.  I don't want to have to buy boy stuff.  Second of all, girl stuff is waaaay cuter than boy stuff.  Third of all, I really know nothing about boys and I don't want to have to deal with flying pee all the time.  But most most importantly, Moshe has a boy name all picked out that I do Not want, and he think he can wear me down and get me to agree, and I am not good at arguing with him.  Also, he will be the one to tell the Rabbi the name we chose and I won't be able to move to stop him.  I could have my father tackle him...maybe I'll do that...  But really, it would just be so much simpler if it could be a girl.

In reality, if it's a boy, I will love it just as much, and really I just hope and pray for a healthy safe baby.  

But I can still hope for a girl :)

Magic Beans

On the last go around, we called the baby "Jelly Bean" b/c on the first sonogram, that's what it looked like, and it worked really well.  Know what I mean, Jelly Bean?  (See?!)  This time, we coudln't really agree on anything.  I suggested coffee bean, which Moshe interpreted as "Espresso Bean", which he's going with.  I suggested "Sweet Pea" b/c at some point, that was the size of the fetus according to my app.  Then it was the size of a gummi bear and I suggested "Gummi Beer".  Moshe's still going with "Espresso Bean".  And he keeps telling it to be fully percolated.  I guess it works.

Because Babies

I used to think my answer to any question would be "b/c Hodayah".  Like "why is there water all over the bathroom?"  "B/c Hodayah".  or "why are you losing your hair?"  B/c Hodayah.  or "Why is my shirt hanging from the lamp?"  B/c Hodayah.


Now, I think my answer could also be "B/c Espresso Bean."  Like "Why were you up so late last night and in the bathroom at 3:30am?"  B/c Espresso Bean.  Grrr....

Shshshshsh...Don't tell

Being pregnant is the Hardest secret to keep.  Ever!  I'm keeping a lot of other secrets, like stuff about shul, or stuff other people confide in me.  And I have no problem keeping those.  But this one is sooooo hard.  First of all, it's super exciting :)  Second of all, there are so many good lines and opportunities that I just have to pass up.  Like when I told my father-in-law that I'm exhausted and he said that I'm running after a baby all day, and I soooo wanted to say "Yeah, I'm also growing a new baby!".  Or when people say my daughter is getting so big and I want to say "So am I!"  Alas...sigh... 

But most difficult is I have so many questions.  Things like How do you be pregnant while dealing with a toddler?  Or why doesn't it feel the same as last time?  Or when do I tell my supervisor?  We sure as poop** are not telling family...like ever...that did not go well last time.  Family is very nice and all, but they can really drive you crazy.  If they figure it out on their own, I can't help that.  But I don't need to hand them the keys to my crazy car.  Meantime, my belly is growing, even though I'm only 9 weeks, but it seems like it's just growing, and we have a family wedding in November.  I might need to wear maternity clothes already.  That'll be fun.

Fourth of all, I've known about this since August 28th.  It's now October 8th.  That's like a month and a half of keeping a secret!  That's a freaking long time!  And I've got 31 weeks to go in this pregnancy.  I might cave.  I've come close a few times.  I've sometimes said things that if you're really paying attention and you're following my life, you might pick up on it.  But sometimes, I just want to just blurt it out so I have someone to talk to about it.  I might cave.  We'll see.  I'll let you know.

**I could've said "sure as hell", but no one actually is sure about the existence of hell.  I am Definitely sure that poop exists.